And what YOU can do about it.
Are you completely baffled by the fact that guys never ask you out — or even seem attracted to you?
You are probably starting to wonder at this point what is wrong with you. Your insecurities completely get the best of you, and you beat yourself up inside.
You start thinking you’re not pretty enough, smart enough, or even funny.
Well enough of that nonsense!
What if we told you it has nothing to do with your looks. Would you believe us?
Well, you should. Because the truth is, it’s not YOU.
Well, sort of.
But truth be told, it’s actually what you are DOING that is turning him away.
It may be you are socially unaware of what is making you unapproachable. Believe it or not, your actions speak louder than words, and guys pick up on these subtle messages.
And yes, they’ve got their eyes on you!
Men are thinkers and action-oriented creatures.
They scope out every move you make to determine if it’s safe to say hello. Not only are they looking at you, but they are looking at who you’re hanging out with, what you’re wearing, and how you carry yourself.
A man will analyze every possible scenario before he makes a move because he doesn’t want to face rejection.
So, they will sit back for a bit and think through the entire scenario of how to approach you before they even make their first move.
If you want to be approachable, think about what you are doing before you head out for the night.
And you might want to keep this question in the back of your mind, “Why guys don’t approach me?” to remind yourself to adjust your actions.
Here are nine things you need to seriously re-examine if you want to change the way guys see you:
1. You are in love with your screen.
When you are too busy texting away, you’re definitely not available to make eye contact with a guy who’s looking at you across the room.
When scrolling on your screen, he’s bound to think you’re not having fun or don’t want to be bothered.
This is the kind of vibe you don’t want to give off if you want him to say hello.
And as you head out for GNO, do yourself a favor and keep your phone in your handbag.
This will give guys the green light that you are there to make friends, have a good time, and connect with them.
2. You’re hanging out with too many women at once.
When you’re out on the town, it is best to keep your squad in the single digits. If you are with a large group, it can definitely keep him at an arm’s length.
Guys are already nervous when it comes to asking a woman out.
So imagine if they had to walk up to ten of you at once. How intimidated would that make him feel?
He’s definitely bound to approach a few girls at once with his wingman, but not a crowd of women.
So keep your tribe small … at least for now.
3. You have resting bitch face.
You might as well wipe that look off your face, darling. Is life really that bad?
Would you want to talk to a guy who looks like he’s in a crappy mood?
If you’re walking around a lounge or hanging out at a cool party, bitch face tells the world: Stay away.
No guy in his right mind would even remotely think to approach you.
To keep yourself approachable, smile.
A guy will want to make sure he can be friends with you first — before he even thinks about dating you.
If you make his opportunity to ask you out easy, he’s bound to feel confident in himself.
4. You’re sending out some serious negative energy.
Your aura beams out of your body the second you enter a room.
Your energy alone can make or break whether a guy wants to say hello.
When you don’t let your energy shine, it really can affect your mood, making you seem utterly unattractive.
A guy loves when you have an undefinable mysterious energy about you. It makes him inquisitive about every move you make as he gazes at you across the room.
Think about it, don’t you always want the guy who seems just a little unattainable because he has that charisma about him. The same thing goes for you, too.
So make sure your thoughts and feelings are positively radiating through your aura to attract his attention.
5. You act like you’re high maintenance.
If you’re the kind of woman who has a princess-like attitude, you might find yourself single for a long time.
Guys literally run the opposite direction when a woman has “high maintenance” written across her forehead.
If you make it challenging and nearly impossible to court you, he will feel like he has failed before he even tries.
This will turn him off so fast!
A guy wants to be the leading man when it comes to dating.
Don’t make his life more difficult by challenging who’s leading the relationship.
You can totally speak your mind and ask for things you need, but don’t make him bend over backward to keep your attention.
The more you are willing to have fun and show him how much you appreciate him, the more he will do for you. There’s no reason to act like you deserve more than him.
Let him know you are kind and an independent woman who can stand on her own two feet.
It will make him respect you even more.
And if you’re dating, be willing to chip in here and there.
It shows you are there for the right reasons, so he will ask you out again.
6. You dress overly provocative and wear a pound of makeup.
This kind of attire screams “insecurity” and makes a man believe you are uncomfortable with who you are as a woman.
When you’re flirting more with your body than with your mind, you’re sending him the wrong message.
This is an immediate red flag that shows him you are not worthy of his respect.
A guy loves a woman who makes him think or has to undress you with his eyes without seeing it all out in the open. If you flaunt it all, you leave no mystery to his imagination.
In order to captivate his desire, keep your makeup minimal.
Not only does it make you look younger when wearing less makeup, but it also shows you are comfortable in your own skin.
Guys love a woman who has no problem just being herself around him.
7. You need to be the center of attention.
Are you the kind of woman who likes to be seen or makes your presence known?
If so, you might want to reconsider your self-centered act.
Guys don’t want a woman everybody is staring at or seems easily to catch. They want a woman who’s a bit of a chase so they can put their hunting skills to action.
Men love to hunt. It’s innate to who they are, dating back to historical days.
So if you are wide open on the playing field, they might not make the pass. They need to use their masculinity to conquer their goal. And in this case, their goal is meeting you and winning you over.
And guys love to win. We are not saying you’re a prize to be won, yet men want to feel like they have to hunt to have any interest in you.
You can be a leading lady and live life to the fullest, but at the same time being a little less out in the open. This will make you more approachable.
He will find you more attractive and want to try to capture your attention.
8.You don’t give him a chance to ask you out.
So when it comes to dating, you want to control this area too?
Not so fast.
You can’t always be in control when it comes to love. And you can’t try to convince him to like you, either.
Guys want to be the man in the relationship. And yes, you want that too, but you’re not letting it happen.
You despise the unknowns with him, not knowing if he likes you or when he’s going to ask you out on a date.
You try to ask him out because you want to see him, however, you’re hurting his masculinity by doing this. He feels like he can’t be the man and it will start to discourage his place with you.
When it comes to dating, take a back seat.
Focus on your career, hang out with your friends, find hobbies you’re passionate about and keep living life for you.
A guy will ask you out once he weighs his thoughts, and decides how he really feels about you.
You can’t be in the driver’s seat if you want him to ask you out. Let things develop at an organic flow, then you’ll know if he likes you or not.
9. You’re always hanging with your boys.
Do you have a group of guy friends you love hanging out with?
They make you laugh your ass off and you always know you’re in for a great time. And we get it, you love being with the guys because it’s quite an adventure.
However, they may be cock-blocking you. Not on purpose, but guys are less likely to approach you when you are hanging out with your boys.
Guys immediately think you’re off-limits because you are surrounded by a personal army.
You have shielded protection all around you, instantly decreasing your chances of being asked out.
A guy isn’t going to enter unknown territories where he might lose all his guts and his glory.
By all means, enjoy your nights out with the guys, but don’t plan on meeting someone who could be a potential candidate for your next date when you’re with them.
If any of these reasons ring a bell, then nip it the bud and see how your luck turns around next time you’re out.
(You might just meet someone special.)
Want to learn more about how you may be turning guys off? Jan and Jillian Yuhas are Dating and Relationship Lifestyle Coaches who help women attract the man they want. Find out how to captivate him in a matter of seconds by contacting us here for your free Fiercely Femme to Dating Him call.