Are you out before you are in?
When it comes to dating, do you always find yourself in the friend zone as opposed to the end zone? If you are falling short of your relationship goals, then it may have nothing to do with your looks and everything to do with your approach.
Let me guess…
You have built yourself a successful career, you are recognized in your industry, you consider yourself a gentleman, you know how to ace grooming and wardrobe style, you’re up-to-date on the best dinner spots in town, and the list goes on.
You live the life like a well-oiled machine. The only thing missing is the one person who matters the most to you, a woman to share it all with. And you can’t seem to get the one woman you want to give what you need in return.
Here are 5 behaviors to avoid that are total turns off to girls- and are keeping you from getting a girlfriend:
1. Stop Being at Her Beck and Call
You drop your plans the minute you hear from her. You literally don’t wait a second before replying to her calls or texts. You constantly give her exactly what she needs. From a listening ear to solving her life problems, you are always there for her. She does not have to think twice about whether or not you will be there for her when she needs you. And, while providing her with emotional security is essential for a relationship to grow, unfortunately, you are not there yet.
You have jumped the gun.
By showing her an unwavering dedication prior to a strong, solid connection, you have turned her off. She looks the other way when it comes to seeing you as her man. It’s not that you are too easy, but you are too easily accessible. This is literally killing the attraction in the initial phase of pursuing her. You have lost your mysterious factor.
2.Refrain From Spoiling Her
You have been on two dates and have already sent her flowers, spa days, and a new handbag. She keeps you wrapped around her fingers with requests knowing you will fulfill faster than postmates. You have become her genie in a bottle by making all her wishes come true.
Her requests only keep getting bigger.
She keeps testing the waters watching you bend over backward for her. It has become about the challenge of seeing how far you will go to buy her the gifts she adores. In fact, she is already bored with getting to know you and your great qualities. You have become her credit card, not the man she desires. Unless you have been dating for several months or there is a special occasion in her life, hold back on gift giving until she appreciates you for you.
3. Cut The Sweet Talk
Baby, Beautiful, Gorgeous, Sweetheart, Love…puke you have known her five minutes. So cut the sweet nothings banter until a genuine connection is mutual between the two of you. Empty expressions without an emotional attachment are as fluffy as men’s 80s hairstyles.
While most women want their man to have a nickname for them, the beginning stages of dating it’s a huge no-no. She will see right through it and think you are a phony or a desperate man with no game.
Are you playing for keeps or are you gonna talk your way out of a relationship once again?
4. Don’t Rescue Her
You are sweet as pie and she just came off a bad high from her last guy. She is not ready to date if she is treating you like number five. Rescuing her will only backfire in your face, as she is not emotionally available for your kind heart.
With her dating approach needy from the start, do not let it fool you. She may not necessarily want you, yet appreciates the admiration you give to her. Your kindness feeds her soul while she’s fighting to stay above waters in her own life.
To avoid being used for your generosity, you will want a woman who has her life together inside and out. A woman with emotional stability knows what she wants and needs, making it obvious to you. You need a strong woman who wants to join your lifestyle without the unnecessary drama.
5. Avoid Seeking Validation From Her
Do you often find yourself putting your self-worth in the hands of a woman? You feel yourself confidence slipping when she ignores your text messages? If so, stop immediately! She is not the ruler of your world. If anything cost you your inner peace, it’s definitely not worth the investment.
When you know your worth, she will respect you as a man she sees as her life partner. If she rejects your genuine advances to date, then know she is not for you. Redirect your energy towards someone who can give you what you want and need for a fulfilling and secure relationship.
Jan and Jillian Yuhas are Relationship and Lifestyle Coaches who help single guys confidently captivate and attract the woman of their dreams for a long-lasting relationship. If dating has thrown you for a loop, then contact Entwined Lifestyle to join their Men’s Love Coaching program.