Happiness is such sweet revenge.
So you’ve been messaging back and forth with this new guy you met on a dating app for about a week. You find him uber attractive and have great in-depth convos. He seriously makes you laugh so hard! You just know it’s meant to be. Then the waiting game begins. You are literally on pins and needles wondering when is he going to ask you on a date.
The date is set for Sunday brunch at 11:00 a.m.
Ten minutes go by and he still has yet to show his face.
You text your girlfriend while you are waiting to keep your cool. You start to think maybe something happened to him. At 11:15, you go to message him on the dating app you are connected on. You find out you are no longer matched and he has blocked your text messages, too. You are beyond speechless and disappointed.
He officially just stood you up.
You try not to well up with tears, but you are dying inside. All you want to do is go home and hide under the covers in your bed.
But don’t give up just yet. Even some of the best of us have faced this humiliating fate. It doesn’t mean your dating life is over!
Here are 5 ways to recover when you have been stood up by a guy you really liked:
1. Call someone who loves you.
The minute the guy does not show up, the awful feeling of emotional rejection sets in. It doesn’t matter how strong of a woman you are, this painful feeling would be distressing for anyone. Being left to stand all alone in the restaurant while expecting to meet a guy can be one of the most humiliating experiences for a single woman.
So once you realize the guy has blown you off, call someone who loves you.
Whether it is your best friend, your mom, or the next door neighbor, just make sure it’s someone who is unconditionally there to listen. Confiding in someone who knows your self-worth can help soften the blow of rejection. They can help soothe your feelings and pull the pit right out of your stomach.
Besides, sometimes a good venting session is all you need to move forward.
2. Plan something fun for the rest of the day.
Make new plans right after you know the date is a no-go. This will help you refocus your mindset on a positive direction and make the most of your day.
Better yet, try something new you have been dying to do but haven’t quite had the guts to do it — like skydiving. The adrenaline rush will override some of those painful thoughts you were experiencing by jumping to new heights.
By the end of the day, you will be thanking the guy for canceling as you expand on your own aspirations. With your spirits revived, you can learn a lot about yourself in an uncomfortable situation while pushing yourself to become more fearless and following your heart’s desires. Prove it to yourself, sister!
3. Keep positive about dating.
Perhaps the guy was on a malicious power trip or lacks the confidence to meet up altogether. Whatever his reasoning for the diss, do not let it affect your next date. One man’s rejection is the opportunity for you to meet a man of greater character. Not to mention — do you really want to date a guy who can’t keep his word? Probably not.
Soon enough, you will be saying “thank you”.
While dating can be a bit of a roller coaster, riding out the waves is also what makes it fun. Not every guy you meet will be a perfect match, so keeping an open mind about dating will help you brush off the mishaps you encounter along the way.
Let the duds go and live on.
4. Indulge in self-care.
The best way to bounce back in the dating game is to take care of you. Whether you love to indulge in spa treatments, a hip-hop dance class, or a favorite hobby, this promotes a healthier you from the inside out. And when you feel good on the inside, navigating in life will come at ease, even when life throws you a lemon.
You know you deserve better.
By taking care of yourself, you naturally strengthen your internal self-worth, self-love, and self-esteem. And when you truly love yourself, a man standing you up on a date won’t sting like a bee. You can confidently go about your day knowing you have a lot to offer to someone who is willing to give you the same respect in return.
5. Spoil yourself, love.
Sometimes the best way to get out of a funk is to spoil yourself. Whether dining at your favorite restaurant for that decadent chocolate cake you have been dreaming about or gallivanting off on a mini shopping spree (if your finances allow it), pampering yourself can seriously be a saving grace when things just are not going as planned.
Life is short and sweet; enjoy it.
Treating yourself to the things you enjoy can elevate your mood and help you forget about the pain. Not only does it make you feel better, but it helps you stop thinking about being stood up. Changing your thoughts can be as simply living in the present and engaging in your go-to comforts that you truly enjoy.
And remember, do not let some random guy you have not met destroy your inner peace.
His poor manners are a sign he is not worth your time. And if he ever reaches out, avoid him like the plague. You can’t waste another hour on him when he couldn’t even meet you the first time.
Jan and Jillian Yuhas are relationship and lifestyle coaches who help women confidently know their self-worth. If dating has thrown you for a loop, then contact Entwined Lifestyle to join their fiercely femme to dating him program.