You have to jump in with both feet if you want to win at love.
Commitment seems to be a foreign policy these days. Everyone appears to run from it … except when it comes to political views.
The most controversial presidential election of all time has become a wake-up call to realize what truly matters in life. Fear keeps us from successfully uniting with others.
When it comes to commitment, what do you fear? Loss of freedom? Loss of identity? Do you think the grass may be greener with someone else?
Let me share a secret with you:
Any human worth knowing realizes fear is just plain BULLSH*T!
Fear only holds you back from going after what you really want. Commitment is no different. It isn’t! In fact, you have the power within yourself to challenge your fear of commitment head on.
All you have to do is open the door, no matter how unprepared you are.
A wise man knows that a healthy, committed relationship is the secret weapon to achieving success in all areas of his life. When you commit to your significant other, you give them your word. This bond creates trust, respect, strength, and the concept of “we” not “me.”
There is power in WE.
It represents an unconditional support system that fosters your ability to reach your goals. Numbers don’t lie, and two IS better than one.
What if all you needed to get to the next level was to commit to that one special person? Where would your life be in five years? Ten years? Whatever your “ultiMATE” goal is, committing to WE is the answer.
So … what is stopping you?
Here are 6 ways to say “F*ck fear!” and commit to achieving your ultimate goals:
1. Connect with yourself.
Understand your fear around commitment. What are you afraid of? What are your core values with dating and relationships? Start accepting what is holding you back and get a grip on it.
If you feel stuck, write down your thoughts to see what keeps you from committing to the next phase of your dating life. When you see things in black and white, you can gain a deeper understanding, which will help you define what it is you need to fulfill your relationship goals.
2. Open up by working through your most uncomfortable fears.
This will take strength, courage, effort, consistency, and patience. It will not be easy. But anything worth something won’t come easy. Rewrite your beliefs and commit to them. It will take time before you can adopt a new, more rewarding perspective.
Ask yourself questions such as:
Are my fears rational?
Is there evidence supporting my fears?
Can I challenge them?
Do they align with my ultimate relationship goals?
3. Mind over matter.
If you allow your mind to control your relationship, you may never make it to the winning position in which you can both receive and give love. It will take YOU facing your fears by simply letting go of your thoughts, as they hold powerless weight over your happiness.
Once you shift your mindset, you will stop restricting yourself from getting what you deserve and desire. Be bold and take risks to reach success in your dating life. The power is within you.
4. Master yourself.
The moment you decide to empower your actions, you will feel free from the burden of your pain. By practicing mindfulness you will learn to make peace with your past, challenge your thoughts, jump outside your comfort zone, be honest with yourself, and practice positivity.
Once you open your mind and heart, there’s no turning back. You have the ability to master yourself.
5. Interact with others in a group.
It can be reassuring to know you are not alone. You have the support from others who are in a similar position. Joining a group with individuals who experience fears around commitment, love, and intimacy can give you the extra emotional support you need to overcome your obstacle.
Exploring in a safe environment and hearing other people’s stories of fear will help you gain clarity. You can use this process to self-reflect and see which solutions are available that you haven’t yet considered.
6. Talk with an accountability partner.
Ask a friend or the person you are dating to support you on this journey as you peel back the layers one by one and get down to the core of your fear.
Think of this process as peeling an onion, one layer at a time. You may shed a few tears; yet, it will help you let go of your fears. Having a partner hold you accountable will help inspire you and keep the momentum going as you achieve your goal.
Checking in with your accountability partner on a consistent basis will be key to staying on track.
You can check out our featured article on Yourtango.com
Jillian and Jan