J.Yuhas
- 6 min read

How Your Self-Esteem Affects Your Relationship

You probably have heard the term, “know your worth” from all your friends and family.

But, what does it really mean?

Knowing your worth means honoring who you are regardless of the opinions of others. You are fully self-aware of your strengths and weaknesses and feel good about yourself in any type of situation. It’s a personal, subjective self-evaluation based on how you see yourself in your internal world.

When you believe in yourself, it keeps you from settling for less or allowing others to treat you in a disrespectful manner. And when you know your worth, you feel comfortable and confident about receiving love from a partner because you already shine with self-love.

As you learn to speak your truth, you will find yourself valuable to a partner’s lifestyle and attract a healthy, loving partner. If you fail to speak up, you devalue who you are and attract users.

Here Are Five Ways To Own Your Worth To Attract The Love You Deserve:

1.Implement Daily Self-Care & Self-Love

Every day you have a responsibility to nurture the relationship with yourself. And if you are not taking care of yourself and giving yourself the things you need to feel good, then how can you receive what you want from others?

The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every relationship in your life.

Your daily commitment to self-care and self-love is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. If you workout to stay in shape, then you’re physically taking care of yourself. But what about your mind and spirit? Those two areas get neglected the most. So if you don’t feel good at the end of the day, then this may be why. Both self-care and self-love need to work together in unison in order to honor your truth and own your worth. You can’t choose one over the other, otherwise, your self-esteem will suffer ultimately affecting your confidence and worth.

Running to the gym to pick-up weights and burn calories is very beneficial to your physical health, as it’s necessary on so many levels to excel in life. At the same time, challenging your mind the same way you challenge your body is a fundamental catalyst to saying, “I’m worth it.”

It’s not selfish to take time out of your day to do the things that make you feel fulfilled. In fact, if you’re not doing them, then you are actually hurting your chances of receiving the things you need with a partner. Operating at your peak performance and being connected to your core will give you a life fulfilled of purpose.

Self-Care Examples:

Implementing a consistent sleep schedule
Cooking and consuming healthy, whole foods and drinking water
Physically working out
Beauty and grooming regimen
Asking for help

Self-Love Examples:

Practicing positive affirmations and gratitudes
Writing in a journal
Meditating or listening to music
Deep belly breathing
Carving time for personal hobbies

2.Be Accountable Everyday

You can’t convince yourself to all of a sudden believe you are worthy of love if you haven’t believed it for the past thirty-some years. It requires a commitment to yourself every day by challenging your self-limiting beliefs to help promote personal growth. When you commit to daily goals, those little wins start to make you feel good supporting your positivity.

It’s very common to make commitments to others every day. Whether it’s your clients making requests, your friends asking to hang out, or your family wanting to know if you will be over for Sunday supper. More often than not, you say yes to their requests because you value the connection. So what about valuing the connection with yourself?

When you fail to commit to yourself, you’re basically saying you’re not worthy of the things you need to feel happy. You are allowing your fear and false beliefs to keep you complacent instead of honoring who you really are. It’s time to stop hiding, and start being seen based on the real you. That’s the person who is magical and worthy of everything.

A loving partner will admire you for being committed to the things that fuel your fire. We hear it from men and women regularly, who both say they find a partner unattractive when they aren’t committed to their goals. So the facts on there.

Commit to you, and a partner will commit to you in return.

3.Speak Up With Your Inner Voice

This is probably one of the hardest things to do, yet a powerful and rewarding experience. If you don’t know what your worth, staying silent for the sake of others will keep you from asking for what you need in a relationship with a partner. Being able to voice your opinions or concerns comes from knowing who you are and believing in yourself based on your core values.

When you don’t speak up, you are showing a partner you aren’t worthy of an equal partnership or don’t believe you deserve to be treated with the utmost respect. This creates an unhealthy relationship dynamic, hurting both partners in the relationship at the end of the day. When there’s a lack of transparency, you are communicating it’s okay to treat you poorly or unfairly.

Speaking up can be uncomfortable, yet you neglect yourself when you stay silent.

Speaking up shows you respect and love yourself. You aren’t a doormat that wants to be used to satisfying your partner’s shortcomings. But if you feel you have to earn your partner’s love, then you have lost all respect for yourself. You will never feel fulfilled in the relationship giving them what they need without asking for what you need. A healthy relationship is about honoring each of your needs independently to create a harmonious alignment throughout a union.

When you sit down and talk to your partner, talk from your heart not your head. It will be much easier to be heard and understood when asking your partner to respect you versus talking at them from your head. When you talk at a partner, you lose all credibility and forget your worth. Criticizing a partner bluntly states, “I feel inferior to you” instead of stating how you feel and working through it to solve the problem as a team. It’s always WE vs the problem, not ME vs You.

4.Live According To Your Values

Honoring your values is key to knowing your worth! Your relationship values help you identify what’s important to you to feel secure with yourself and with a partner in the relationship based on your emotional needs. It’s not about depending on a partner, this is about what you need as an individual to feel healthy with a partner. For example, if you value communication, you will want to know your partner has great communication skills because that makes you feel secure with the connection.

Your relationship values guide you to decide who is a great partner and who is not. And, sometimes people don’t figure this out at the beginning which can definitely make the relationship more challenging later on.

Your relationship values help you have integrity with yourself so a partner chooses you to complement their life. Values hold you accountable for what makes you feel good and fulfilled, giving purpose to your life every day. Being able to identify your top five relationship values will help you be able to speak up, honor what you need with a partner, and own your worth all at the same time.

Knowing your values will give you a strong foundation to live by and thrive. So even when you are having a hard time, use your values as a valuable tool to figure out what it is unsettling to you. Your values will always lead you back to the root of the problem so you can overcome them with your partner.

Value Examples:

Integrity
Communication
Trust
Loyalty
Family Involvement
Driven Mindset
Equal Partnership
Positivity
Honesty
Kindheartedness

5.Set Boundaries Like A Badass

As we mentioned in number three, speaking up is part of owning your worth! And it can be critical to your own relationship success story. If you aren’t talking about what you need, then you are playing too small. Using your inner voice will help you find the courage to work better with your partner for alignment instead of pinning each other against one another.

Setting boundaries give you a strategic communication style that leads to positive

relationship results without burning the connection. Boundaries help you and your part grow together by asking your partner to come together as a team when things aren’t aligning.

Many people confuse boundaries with ultimatums and they are the complete opposite.

Ultimatums are demands based on emotion saying “you better do this or else this is over.”

Ultimatums lack respect for your relationship, therefore hurting yourself in the end. Whereas, boundaries are asking questions based on your values, like we talked about in number four. When you use values, you show respect for yourself based on what you need while asking your partner to align based on that value.

Having a calm, constructive, and concise conversation will support your needs with your partner.

If you’re not sure how to elevate your relationship to the next level, whether single, committed or married, then grab our Boundary Badass program to save yourself time, energy, and a million headaches. This is the best tool to turn any conflictual conversation around within minutes in a peaceful manner.