Every relationship has pluses and minuses.
Whether you have been dating for a few months or married for many years, your relationship will evolve over time. When each partner evolves, this requires the relationship to experience a revision as well as reach new heights. This can definitely can be a great thing for growth or it can cause you and your partner to encounter an impasse.
If you are currently experiencing a gridlock, it doesn’t necessarily mean its a bad thing. It means you and your partner will need to either put in the extra effort to form a new alignment or decide if you are truly compatible with each other. And sometimes, partners outgrow each other if they aren’t willing to evolve together. Just like you probably have outgrown old friendships or even past careers. So if you are feeling confused or hesitant about whether you should stay with your partner or go, then asking yourself these relationship questions below will help you gain clarity.
Begin by going through the list of questions on your own and answer each question honestly according to your relationship values and needs. This will help you identify your strengths and weakness and how it applies to your current relationship. We recommend printing the list or writing down the number to each question while placing a T for true or F for false.
The Most Trustworthy Relationship Checklist:
- My partner listens to my concerns
- I trust my partner
- I take responsibility for my mistakes and apologize
- I feel loved and appreciated
- When I think about my relationship, it brings happiness to my life
- I can talk about my dreams without my partner being contemptuous towards me
- Conflict allows us to grow together
- My partner is open to talking when I ask
- I enjoy helping my partner when they ask for help
- I believe my partner has my best interest and supports me to succeed
- It’s okay if we don’t always agree on things
- My partner asks me how my day was when they get home from work
- We have a date night once a week, even if it’s at home with no technology
- We are equally responsible for our relationship and make it a priority
- My partner and I share common interests
- I feel absolutely blessed to have my partner in my life
- My partner and I find each other attractive and have a great sex life
- We understand each other’s family dynamics
- We celebrate important dates, events, and personal accomplishments with each other
- My partner and I have special traditions we share
- My partner and I do nice things for each other
- We are comfortable sitting at home alone with each other without external resources
- Even if we have a disagreement, we don’t call each other names or attack one another
- I can discuss personal feelings without it turning into a fight
- I don’t feel discomfort when around my partner, such as anxious or depressed
- We freely and openly express our love
- We share financial responsibilities
- We share similar long-term relationship goals, such as viewpoints on marriage or kids
- My partner includes me throughout their lifestyle and invites me to social gatherings
- My partner makes me feel heard and understood
Is your partner meeting your relationship needs?
- If you have 24-30 T’s, then you are in a healthy partnership with a loving companion. Bravo! You both share similar viewpoints and communicate with each other on a regular basis and can solve your own relationship issues when they arise.
- If you have 18-23 T’s, then it will be important to talk with your partner about trying to work on increasing your bonding time to reach a healthier state and share a deeper connection. There’s nothing wrong, but creating a deeper intimacy will help both you feel more at peaceful and receive the emotional support you need.
- If you have 12-17 T’s, then hiring a relationship coach will help you work through some of your current issues you are facing as a couple so you both can strive to get your relationship needs met. It doesn’t mean you should consider leaving yet as you can potentially make a shift in your current dynamic that will create a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. You both need to individually work on yourself and the relationship collaboratively as you both are contributing to the issues by accepting things.
- If you have 6-11 T’s, then it’s better to end things so you can find a healthy partner who will be able to meet your relationship needs. Saying goodbye before you sabotage your love life is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. You can’t create a healthy relationship on your own, it takes two to create a relationship that’s built to last. And if you are married or have children, please seek professional support immediately so you can identify what’s best for the family overall, as everyone is probably suffering including the children.
- If you have 0-5 T’s, then you aren’t even in a relationship. It’s time to move on! More than likely the connection didn’t start off the right way. If the foundation was never built, you cannot grow a relationship without basic fundamentals, such as open communication, being honest with each other, planning date nights, sharing responsibilities, appreciating your partner, finding common interests, and learning to overcome problems when they existed.
It can be challenging to see your current relationship status in black and white by answering T or F to the relationship questions above. It takes courage and compassion to answer these questions, especially if you find yourself facing relationship problems. The purpose of this list is to highlight whether you are in a relationship that supports your relationship values, if your relationship needs re-alignment, or if you need to walk away to support your mental, emotional or physical health.
Regardless, we are born to love and experience healthy relationships by working with our partner, not against them. However, if you are struggling to attract a healthy partner or enjoy a romantic relationship, you may have childhood trauma or abuse you need to work through so you can heal before meeting the right partner. You have the ability to get help, so there’s no need to consider suffering. You have made it this far, be brave and reach out to enjoy a healthy relationship that brings you fulfillment and joy in your love life.
Book a call today to talk with a relationship expert, if you are confused which direction you need to go with your relationship.