While starting a new relationship can often be fun and exciting, it can also be blindly frustrating navigating the unknowns. You never know when they are going to call, text, or ask you on a date. Playing the waiting game is as daunting as watching paint dry. So how do you cruise through the dreadful silences?
Simple, you stay in the present moment.
When you are living your life in the present moment there is no time to think about the past or the future. You enjoy life as it comes. If you tend to displace your past onto your current situation, then you aren’t giving your new mate a fair chance. You can’t carry the weight of your past relationship issues around with you if you want to fall in love again. This isn’t fair to you or your new date. You’ll want to work through any past hiccups on your own before trying to date again.
If you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum and tend to think futurist, you will want to prepare so you don’t miss your target – a relationship. Going from your first date to thoughts of getting married will have you missing a few important relationship facets that won’t add up to a stable commitment. So while the unknowns maybe have you second guessing what is going on, it is important to just go with the flow and feel things out naturally as the connection progresses.
Here 3 things to keep yourself in the present moment when dating:
Keep your conversation banter timeless.
While your past may come up in conversations, such as stories about growing up or your latest travels, try to keep the chatter about current events going on that day or just a few days out. So, if it’s Thursday and they ask you what you’re up to for the weekend, then you can give them the gist of your plans. But, if it’s beyond that marker and you’re not trying to book tickets to an event, then keep your answer a little vaguer. This not only adds a mysterious vibe to your persona, which is attractive, but it keeps from things getting to futurist when the groundwork has yet to be laid.
Go have fun. Tomorrow is unknown.
2. Go about your own life and aspirations.
Weeding through the unknowns can be a roller coaster ride. So how do you enjoy the ride? You have your own life of passions and dreams that keep you busy.
This keeps you from ruminating unwarranted thoughts about whether or not the two of you are going somewhere. Because when you are preoccupied with your own life, then your mate doesn’t consume your life. In fact, if you want to attract this person into your life permanently then you’re going to what to develop some interesting assets to intrigue them.
Focus on the friendship.
You maybe dating the sexiest person alive; however, you’ll want to focus on the friendship. It will be hard to develop any depth to the bond if the friendship isn’t developed. A connection cannot survive on sexual vibes alone. A solid relationship needs to be built on trust, respect, loyalty, honesty and a little laughter never hurt anyone. These pertinent facets can only grow slowly over time. They cannot be rushed or forced and nor can a relationship. So, focus on the friendship and work from there without any expectations. When you eliminate all the expectations you may be surprised what grows between you two.
Jan and Jillian